Monday, July 29, 2013

Low Key Weekend with a Somber Ending

We had a low key weekend and it was AMAZING.
I got up early Saturday morning to continue my cleaning from the day before.
The hubs went on his normal bike ride, so the kids were home to help clean.
Yeah, right.  They made a mess as I would clean up another.
At one point, I was upstairs sweeping the bathroom floors and Lucas was downstairs splashing my mop water all over my freshly cleaned floors.
Luckily, my mom called a few minutes after and offered to pick up the kids and take them for the day.
The kids were going to stay the night with them anyways, but being gone all day and night was a bonus for us.
We had some possible concert plans for Saturday night, but they fell through which worked out better.
What did we do?
We ran some errands and then spent the afternoon watching two movies and eating.
Again, it was awesome.

Sunday morning I woke up to the news of Kidd Kraddick passing.
Honestly, I have been heartbroken ever since.
It is hard to put it into words.
I tried to explain it to my husband, but just couldn't.
I spent all day Sunday checking news and social media outlets for any updates.
I was hoping it would turn out to be some bad prank after all of the "Deathbed Confessions" on the show last week.
Really, what crazy timing?
Did he have a feeling something would happen?  Was there some underlying medical issue only he knew about?
When I heard the crew would be on air this morning, I knew I had to listen.
I got up and found the live streaming of the show.
I spent the next two hours bawling my eyes out.
They have major composure to keep it all together like they did.
I know they are hurting as much, probably more,  than I am.
I listen to KKITM every day.
Probably a little too much as I would tune out my kiddos to listen to the show on our way to school.
Yes, I know he is a radio guy that I have never met, but he really touched my heart with his funny little bits and generous heart.
He gave so much of his life to help others and gave when he did not have to.

Of course it makes me stop and think about what I have done for others, especially those close to me.
Believe has not been enough.
Ironically, I have been thinking a lot about death of myself and my family in the past couple weeks.
No, I don't really know why but it has been on my mind a lot.
If I left this earth tomorrow, would my kids truly know how much I love them?
Would they remember me playing with them and doing activities with them?
I know they would be sad, but as time went on, what would they actually remember?

Those that are close to me know that my father passed away when I was in high school.
I don't remember a lot about my father because he worked a lot so I didn't really spend much time with him.
I do remember him teaching me how to roll up my burrito so that the stuffing wouldn't spill out.
My step-father(the best man I've ever known) has many health issues.
I'm thankful for every day, week, and year I have with him as I don't know when our time will end.
I try to prepare myself and think about how that time will be as I know one day he will be gone.
And then I think well it may not be him that goes first.
It could be me.
We never know what is in store for our future.
We don't know how long we will be here.
We don't know if we will live longer than our children, our parents, or our spouse.

The sudden passing of Kidd Kraddick sort of confirmed my thoughts for the past few weeks.  
I know that i need to make changes now.
I need to do everything I can to be happy with my kids, husband, and family every day.
I need to let go of our petty arguments and the misbehavior of my kiddos.
They are, after all, just kids.

I have spent lots of time with my kiddos this summer, but at the same time I have been disconnected with them to some extent.
I have spent numerous hours on my phone and on the computer doing 50 million different things.
Some of them have been necessary, but lots of others are just out of self entertainment.
So here is my list of things to change:

1. Read a bible story and pray with my kids every night.
2. Every evening put away all electronics and focus only on my kids. i.e. play games, read books, color, etc...
3.  Spend time truly talking with my hubs about our day and thoughts.
4.  Start a Bible study with the hubs. (If you know of any good books for couples, please let me know.)

I know life gets busy and hectic, but I have to spend more time with just my family.
Life is too short not to show your love every day.


  1. Love.
    Couldn't agree more. :)

  2. I agree. My husband and I started The Love Dare. We're getting a lot out if it.

  3. Why are you making me cry more?? I've been heartbroken too, he was such a good man and I will miss hearing him every morning! Love you!

  4. This is so sad!! But I feel the same way when you get hit with sadness. If you find a good couple book let me know!

  5. Such a beautiful post. It's nice to reflect and acknowledge what changes we need to make within ourselves. :)