Itty Bitty Titty committee

My mom came over the other day and her first comment was, "Are you wearing a sports bra?  It looks like you have lost all of your boobs.  I think you need a push up bra."  

Well geez, thanks mom!  

It is a good thing I love her  because I just about wanted to punch her in the face :)  

After that she promptly said, "you have lost some weight...you look great!  I can see a difference."  She had to save herself somehow.  

In all actuality I have not lost any weight, but my body is shifting and I would like to think for the better, except for my boobies.  

This is a side view and yes I have a regular bra on and yes my tummy almost goes out more. 

Not much cleavage here!

This view isn't too bad :)

I have never been a big chested girl.  I went up to a DD when I was way overweight and prego, but in college I was a large C.  Since I have been working out and lifting weights there is a noticeable difference.  I am probably a very small C or even a large B at this point.  I can't really tell you for sure because I need new bras and really need to be fitted again.  

There are positives and negatives to this.  

On the bright side, my boobs don't sag because there isn't enough to really weigh them down.  So even after two kiddos, I still have some perky boobs.  Holla!  

I do still have a handful so the hubs is okay with it.  

The other side of this is that I look flat chested in some shirts and apparently look like I have a sports bra on.  

I would love to get a boob job, but I have other areas that I would like to fix before my boobs because they aren't too bad and I don't have tons of money sitting around.  

So, for all of you smaller to average chested women out there.  Where do you get your bras?  Is there a particular "push up" or "cleavage enhancing" bras you would suggest?  

Bras can be expensive and I don't want to waste money.  

A typical day

It is amazing how busy life can be.  I feel like I am always running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  I feel like I just can't keep up.  So, here is my normal routine for a typical workday.  

4:15am  alarm goes off and I get out of bed (no snooze in my life)

4:15 to 6:00 work on stuff for my grad classes (I can't wait to be done)

6:00-7:00 take shower/get ready, get the kiddos ready

7-7:15 get food ready for the day

7:15-8:00 drop the kiddos off and drive to work

8-4:30 work (I'm a high school teacher)

4:45-6:15 Get my sweat on at the gym

6:15 pick up the kiddos

6:30-7:30 dinner and play with the kiddos

7:30-8:30 me time

8:30 bed time (I know I'm old...)

That's my day.  I am blessed with the ability to work and have time to workout.  I think I would go crazy if I didn't go workout everyday.  My daughter has now progressed from the terrible 2's, 3's, and now 4's.  She has some major attitude.  I have no clue what I'm going to do when she is a teenager.  Lord help me now!  

What is your typical schedule?  Do you work out everyday?

Struggling on a run?

I usually go on a long run on the weekend.  I don't usually have an exact mileage to do, but I do have a certain minimum.  If I feel good, I will keep going.  

I am a morning runner.  I like to get up, have a cup of joe, and then head out.  

This weekend was busy with my daughter's 4th birthday party so my run didn't happen until Sunday late afternoon.  

By that time I was tired, really didn't feel like going, but the pizza and birthday cake were haunting my thoughts so I laced up and headed out.  

It was beautiful, sunny, and 70 degrees.  I even wore shorts! 

It started pretty good for the first mile with a high 7 to low 8 minute mile pace.  Then, suddenly my legs wanted to stop.  

I knew I was tired, but dang it had only been a mile. I knew it was going to be a LONG run. 

I knew if I could get to 3 miles it would get better.  It always does. 

 I kept going, even with some of the streets being very windy.

 I made it to 4 miles and then it hit me again.  

I couldn't believe I wanted to quit.

Suddenly, I thought about my cruise in 3 weeks.  I thought about my tummy jiggling in my bathing suit.  

Nobody wants to see that!     

My mind then took me to what the others will look like.  

You know...all of those skinny bitches that don't have any flab and can sit, bend, turn around and nothing moves.  

So images of those skinny bitches gave me motivation to keep going.  Although there were about 10 times that I wanted to quit, I kept putting one foot in front of the other.  I focused on bathing suits, sun, and alcoholic beverages. 

 I pushed to 9 miles.   

I have convinced myself to buckle down and man up for the next 3 weeks.  

The worst feeling would be going on the cruise thinking I didn't give 110%.  

I am not a quitter. 

 I am very competitive.  

I do not lose, even if I am only competing against myself and my own thoughts.  

                                                                 Yes, these are the same pics from my IG (arobertson1224).  

Afterwards, I felt great.  I had a new energy.  I was proud. 

So when you are really struggling with a workout give yourself something to focus on.  

Something that you know will push you farther and faster.  

I promise you will feel amazing afterwards!   

It is that time again

Although I didn't have a very good outcome with last months measurements, I decided to give it another try.
I have continued to work my ass off and lift some weights like a pro body builder.
Yeah right, I wish I had a 10th of their muscles...seriously ONLY a 10th because too much looks too manly and I'm already on the bigger build side.
So, here are my new results compared to the last couple of months...

12/12/12            1/12/13               2/12/13

                                                 Waist 29               28                       28   Same                                                 

                                                  Hips-36             35.5                    34.5       -1

                                              Chest-34.5               34                       34   Same

                                             Arms- 10.5               10                       10   Same

                                           Thighs-22.25              23                       22        -1

So, it's not what I was hoping for or what I was expecting.  I'm not going to lie and say I'm ok with it because I'm not.  Since the scale doesn't move you would think the inches would.  Something has to be happening right?  My clothes fit better and I have even been able to buy smaller clothing.  So maybe I really am measuring incompetent.  

Who knows...

There isn't anything else I can or will change to make a difference in the numbers.  I eat healthy, I workout almost everyday, and I push myself to the limit.  

For the sake of my sanity and with the ultimate goal of keeping my children alive, I will continue my small sweet snack and wine here and there because they are what matter most. 

And maybe I really will look like a body builder.  

There you have it.

My non-changing body that just wants me to stay the same good ole' me.  

Apparently my body loves this weight and shape.

  I'll take it if it stays the same until I'm 80!  

T Minus 30 days

We have finally hit the 30 days until our cruise point.  I am so ready to relax, feel the sun, and have a blast. Since we booked our cruise, last July, I made some goals: a) to wear all bikinis(not tankinis) b)to FEEL good in them and c)to put in lots of effort to get there.

I can easily throw on a bikini, but feeling good in them is most important.  I have always been self conscious about my body even when I was 125lbs.  My brain/eyes automatically see the worst parts of my body and completely focus on them.  I also convince me myself that everyone else is staring at them as well.    

BUT I'm not going to let it happen this time.  

I am going to be confident.  

I am going to rock this 30 year old, 2 babies body.

Since it is just around the corner and I have only had NSV, I have stepped it up a notch.  

I told my husband last week that he can just prepare for salads every night for dinner.  He didn't refuse so I'm going with it. I think he secretly wants to lose a few lbs before we set sail.   

We ate a salad every night this week, except Tuesday.  

I worked out every day except 1 and I have had a little progress on the scale. 

I was stuck bouncing back and forth from 149-152 for a few weeks, but as of this morning I am 148!  

So excited.  

I don't want to screw it up and go back to the 150's, like I've done a couple times in the past 2 months.  I usually screw up on the weekends, but not this time.  

I even went to a party last night and didn't over do it.  

Can we say victory?

Today is another challenge because my friend is having her gender reveal party for her 2nd baby at a mexican food restaurant.  

I must stay away from the chips, salsa, and margs.  

 They are my downfall every time.  

Overall, I'm thrilled to see some scale movement and I'm going to continue in hopes of losing some more in the next month.  

The tankini and one piece will not win this time.

Game on!

Whoa Mama Cow No Pics Please

I have very few pictures of myself for multiple reasons.  I tend to not ever be ready for the pic so I aways end up with a crazy face, I feel fat, or plain and simple I am not photogenic. I love candid pics of other people, but for me they just never turn out cute or fun or pretty so I tend to just stay out of the way of the camera. 

I have always been very aware of my weight and how I look.  I have fluctuated from small to heavy to extremely heavy and then small again for as long as I can remember.  Even during my small times, I tried to stay away from the camera.  

I did not take very many pictures with my first pregnancy or after with my baby girl.  Probably because I was huge after gaining about 80 lbs.  I vowed to watch my weight with the second pregnancy and to take pictures.  I didn't want to miss our on saving those precious memories.  I started out better with the 2nd pregnancy and gained a reasonable amount of weight up until 30ish weeks.  I took a decent amount of pics to document, but after 30 weeks and once I really started gaining it all ended.  

These were taken about 4 weeks after my son was born.

Cue ugly face and fat...

Never let someone take a pic while you are sitting.  Talk about squishy.

Now I realize that it was all so dumb not to take pictures.  Most importantly, I have nothing to look back on of me with my little babies.  I don't have anything to look at for comparison of now and then.  It makes me sad to think of how non-existent I was to because I hid myself not only from pictures but from the world all together.  

Now that I feel better about myself, I love going out and doing things.  I don't want to stay home.  I want to meet new people and have fun.  I want to see more pics of me and my babies.  

But I'm posting this because it is so important to document the memories of your life.  Not only for yourself, but for your family.  Whether you are just beginning your journey, still a work in progress, or happy with your current self you need to cherish every moment.  TAKE pictures!  Someday you will want to look back at them.  If you don't like them now, then hide them or put them on your refrigerator as a motivation to becoming a new you.  A HAPPY You!