Men

For all of you that have a significant other I'm sure you are going to relate to this post.  

I could go on and on about many topics when it comes to my husband, 

but I will save you from all of the nagging.  

Why the hell does he feel the need to tempt me constantly with food? 

He knows I am trying to lose weight and become toned.  

He knows that I am trying to eat clean most of the time, 

BUT 

I walk into my house almost everyday with some new "unhealthy" temptation.  

He brings home ice cream, pizza, candy, chocolate covered pretzels, and 

everything else I would love to chow down on. 

My inner fat girl

wants to eat like it is a buffet that I will never see again.  

So everyday I have to distract myself, 

talk myself out of binge eating,

and pray to have some self control.

I want to just throw it away,

but that would be a major fight.

What does my husband say?  

You just need to have some self control 

and we don't have to suffer because you are!!!

True and true, 

but I don't want you tempting me all the damn time

and then telling me how we need more veggies in our lives.

A little hypocritical ya think?

I do the grocery shopping for a reason and 

NO hubby you don't need to eat 5 billion unhealthy things 

after you eat a healthy dinner.  

So welcome to my daily routine of talking myself out of eating what the hubs and kiddos eat.  

I keep telling him that my dad and I are going to switch houses.  

That way the guys can live together and I can live with my mom. 

 She is much cleaner and isn't buying crap to tempt me with.  

1 month in and feeling good

I finally said enough is enough exactly a month ago and made some eating and work out changes to improve my body and health.  I have worked hard this month staying on track with my eating and working out almost every day.  I have had some definite cheat meals here and there when the whole family decides to go eat or we have some sort of celebration.  I am feeling better and this week that whore of a scale finally started to move.  I am officially in the 140's again.  WOOOHOOOO!  It only took me over a year to get off of that dreaded plateau.  So now things are looking up and my motivation to continue is sky rocketing.  There were a few times I wanted to throw in the towel and say eff it because the scale kept creeping up. 

 So, lets get to the measurements shall we...

    12/12/12            1/12/13

Waist- 29           28  -1    

Hips-36                35.5  -.5

Chest-34.5         34  -.5

Arms- 10.5        10  -.5

                  Thighs-22.25      23  +.75  what???? 

I think I need lessons on how to take measurements or for someone to do them for me because on some of the measurements I got the exact same as last month and then retried and it was different and then it kept going back and forth with different numbers.  So who knows what my real measurements are...I may have done them wrong the first time.  It really doesn't matter because I know my body is changing due to how my clothes fit.  I have pants that were snug that are becoming too big and that counts more than any of these numbers.  

Do you take measurements and have my same problems or is it just me?  BTW have I told you that I'm a high school math teacher and apparently I cannot use a measuring tape.  Don't tell my students....I like for them to think I'm a genius :) 

Trying to move past the Number on the Scale

I haven't weighed in on the blog for the past 2 weeks.  I was trying to figure out why I hadn't talked about my weight and the first thing that came to mind was "well it was the holidays" and yes that is true and yes I did gain about 4 lbs, but that really isn't true.  I weighed in this morning .2 lbs heavier than two weeks ago.  It is so hard for me to get past the number on the scale.  Honestly, I have always been obsessed with the number on the scale and I continue to weigh myself daily....I cannot stop.   

A little background for you: 

I remember being pretty fat in middle school and hating how other kids looked at me.  I was called fat on the school bus a few times from some of the boys(I was a tomboy so I always hung out with the guys).  Right then, I decided I would not stay fat forever and I wanted to be pretty and thin in high school.  I was very athletic and loved sports.  I played soccer, volleyball, and tennis for years before deciding to only focus on tennis sophomore through senior year.  I loved it and believe me there is no better workout than playing tennis outside in 80-102 degree weather for at least 2 hours every afternoon. Welcome to Texas!  Sadly, I was so obsessed with losing weight and being thin that I didn't eat much.  I would hit the gym in the mornings for weights, skip breakfast, eat a small can of tuna fish and a few carrots for lunch, and then eat a salad or something similar for dinner.  I wouldn't even drink water while I practiced tennis because I didn't want to gain anything.  I am so lucky that I didn't have a heat stroke or dehydration and honestly I don't see how it didn't happen.  I know it was very unhealthy, but that was the only way I felt okay with my body and it just became my way of life.   

Fast forward to today and I still struggle with that damn number on the scale.  I tell myself "its just a number" or "it doesn't matter", but it still lingers in the back of my mind.  I told y'all a few weeks ago that I have been on a plateau for over a year now.  My weight has ranged from 152-155 FOREVER.  Last week, I got down to 151.6 and I started thinking maybe this is it, but this morning I was 152.2.  I have consistently been working my ass off at the gym and at home since December 2nd and I have been counting calories and mainly clean eating with pretty much no movement on the scale.  Discouraging? Yes!!!  

I have to move on and get past that girl in high school that was so unhealthy and I must keep going even if the number doesn't change.  Will I struggle with it everyday? Yes!  It is going to take a lot of effort to stay on track and not give up? Yes, but I WILL succeed.  My self worth is not determined by the number on the scale and I will not let it bring me down.  

I will be taking new body measurements on the 12th to see if those have changed.  That way it will be exactly one month since my last measurements.  Oh, on the bright side my clothes are definitely fitting better so Hallelujah!  Progress is progress even if it isn't a win on the scale.  

Resolutions?

I have always made resolutions in the past, but what good do they really do?  I usually don't go back and reflect on all I have accomplished or see how much I totally slacked after the adrenaline high of a new year wears off.  If I did, then maybe I would accomplish a little more and stick to my resolutions.  Oh well, my life will continue and it is up to me to live everyday doing what I want and need to do to feel good about myself.  I'm not going to make resolutions, but I do have a few goals to accomplish in the next year.  So here goes:

1. Run a half marathon

2. lose 10 pounds(doesn't sound like much by holy hell I've been the same weight for a year now)

3. Tone up and have some muscle (can we say no more arm blubber flapping in the wind and six pack abs?)

4.  Graduate with my Masters and find a new job

5. Eat clean at least 90% of the time

So that is it!  Here we go with a new year and lots to do.  Remember life is only what you make of it!